It happened fast; I had my first visit to my doctor in January and now in late April I live with one breast and I’m soon going into chemotherapy. Up until the 20th of April I didn’t consider me having cancer a real possibility. But it was. Every visit at the hospital has been worst case news. Every time. It’s been surreal. I try hard to keep being strong and focus on the good things.
Especially at the last week before treatment; it makes no sense to fear things that haven’t happened yet. Right now I feel better than ever. For all I know, all the cancerous cells were removed and the scar is really healing up nicely. I feel strong and beautiful. I have so many amazing friends and family around me who’s supporting me. And I have a very good chance of not falling ill from cancer again after the chemotherapy. I really try to look at it from the bright side and be happy as much as I can. Either way you look at it; the time you have left on this earth is better spent happy than sad.
My hope is to be an inspiration for others in the same situation; what I see around me is a double fear for breast cancer patients. Fear of the disease on the one side and fear of losing your femininity on the other. I see how losing your breast and hair can almost be worse than the cancer itself. And it doesn’t have to be like this. I want to use this blog to promote self-esteem amongst cancer victims and others, to show that going flat is beautiful and to gather inspiration from all over the world in all the movements that push this agenda.
At the same time it’s going to be a very personal story. Having one breast is now a part of me and I don’t want to hide my disease with implants or a prosthesis. Soon I will cut my hair off and I will wear my scar proudly; being a Magical Uniboob and Queer Ninja going forward.
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