Why would we ever want to call our bodies flawed? Why are our bodies policed and not under our own control? Why would we need to hide our bodies? Both having your breast removed and having a breast or nipple get problematised, in different settings, and both issues becomes accentuated in my position.
Every time I meet someone in the healthcare system I have to start all over; it seems impossible for them to perceive my flat side as an aesthetic choice. I have experienced many comments and encouragements to reconstruct, but really I’m just happy the way I am. I guess it is unthinkable. They want to reconstruct and perform surgery on the healthy breast to assure symmetry, but it’s perfect the way it is. My flat side looks and feels marvelous; the remaining breast looks even more beautiful to me now it’s standing alone. I have never been so comfortable in my skin as I am now. I think my scar tells a story and it’s a part of who I am. The matter of fact is that health personnel can’t grasp that I’m actually happy with my looks; either they think I’m too traumatized to get a reconstruction or that I’m willing to be content with less. The thought that a person, in this case perceived as female, could be happy with an unconventional look seems inconceivable. At least it is never assumed.
In a different arena altogether, there’s the social media’s. It won’t allow my “leftover” nipple to show, the female nipple is dangerous. The irony that I can’t post a picture on Instagram or Facebook of my chest with one nipple left – the one that was removed was the one posing a threat to my life, but the healthy nipple is shunned. I tried posting once the other day but it was removed after less than 24 hours. Took the and picture, but hiding the nipple and everything was ok. The scar is a little more complicated. This is actually allowed to show on social media, but there are still people telling me that showing my scar is tacky, that this part of my body should be hidden away. I have also gotten comments that it could be wise to wear a prosthesis in case I would meet people but wouldn’t want to put them in an awkward position. Thus suggesting it’s my responsibility that others don’t find me offending. I’m supposed to not make others uncomfortable due to the fact that I was ill! Furthermore I’m generally met with the underlying assumption that I can’t be happy with my looks, because it doesn’t meet the beauty standards and frankly both are a bit tiresome. The opinions on and policing of people’s bodies must stop; we all have the right to be exactly as we are without being told we are wrong or that we should hide it.
All in all my breast, scar or hair doesn’t define me. My actions and my spirit does. My body is not flawed, it’s perfect. Not the least because I’m alive. That’s all that my or anybody else’s body need to be. Don’t let anyone tell you different.